George Bush anti-Christ Needs My Help! Tell Me What I Should Do!

Don't ask how this got to me. One thing's for sure: so much for the NSA tracking me. (Or is this just a clever ploy to throw me off?? You tricky lads you!) Anywho, I have been offered the chance to become a Charter Membrane of the GWB Presidential Center and Walmart/Death Camp. The introductory letter is most flattering  - if you're soulless, psychotic and sociopathic (i.e. registered Republican):

"As we break ground deface the earth on the GWB abomination GWB anti-Christ Lie-brary and shooting range, every effort is being made arm is being twisted to ensure longtime soul-selling supporters losers are involved suckered from the outset. And today I am asking you licking your boots to consider throw sanity to the wind being one of the very first (of the ten million mailers we sent out) to accept a very special invitation humiliation.

The man is like a cockroach, isn't he? Only without the charm and more diseased. But gosh, jolly, I gots me a letter from a real live Pressy-dent! An' all I's got to do is just send him some crappy ol' cash and I get this gen-u-wine certificater paper all to my self. Wow, thanks!!! Who can resist a deal like that? I can place this authenticated paper right next to my bottle of snake oil guaranteed to ward off flies and cure horniness (it does neither).

Next comes the honey:

Mr. Homeless, you played a special role in protesting the work of the Warmonger Fascist President and Mrs. Bush his clueless wife.

Then the insults:

History will measure well decry without end the unleashing of hell the contributions forces of destruction President and Mrs. Bush made to this unholy pair inflicted on the United States and the world. The Bush policies murderous terrorizing, the insatiable lust for power, the love of lying kept America safe flushed this country down the drain after 9/11. They produced reform undermined our very foundation in taxes by oppressing the poor, trade moving our jobs overseas, and energy policy robbing resources through force, improved public schools made a joke of education because he's illiterate, and used innovative faith-based and community initiatives to meet human needs laughed at Katrina victims, mockingly declaring, "They can pray to God and let Him sort them out!"

Well hell, who can argue with a record like that! Not I! Now I do realize the man(?) causes some to vomit and heave themselves into convulsion. But around these parts he's quite the hero! So I sez to myself, "Sheeple, I looks around me and I can't tell what I should do! Whatever folks duz most I want to do too!" So I'm needing the help of the good, decent souls of the faceless internets. I need you "beside me, to guide me; to hold me, to scold me; 'cause when I'm bad I'm so, so bad."

Help me through the jive talking!