SINGAPORE (AP) Two evil perverts met today in what many fools say they believe will lead to lasting peace and goodwill on Earth. "It's better to have evil perverts talking than not talking," claimed one columnist who placed hope in speaking well of evil. Others are not so sure.
The two men found they had much in common. "I truly admire your traitorous treatment of the inferior Puerto Ricans. Making them drink poisoned water was hilarious," guffawed Chemical Kim. Napalm Don admired his companion's open hostility to his enemies by placing them directly into death camps. "I sure do know a bunch of crazy Democrats and lying reporters I'd like to see tortured to death!"
The two maladjusted miscreants warmed to each other in intimate moments of shared desires and deeds, trying to one up the other. "I steal babies right from their arms and then 'lose' them so they can't be found! Am I draining the swamp or what?" boasted Napalm Don. His cohort did one better bragging of causing mass starvation so extreme "people leave their babies out in the open hoping someone will take them who can feed them!" Each congratulated the other on his "disruptive" nature and mutual hatred of mankind.
Both agreed "democracy is for losers" and shared a gentle kiss on the lips to seal the deal. Papers were signed declaring peace will come to the world by making it safe for evil. "We are united in this shared endeavor so that all bad men may come together as one. Praise us for the peace we bring!"
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