Ode To The Fruity Pebble

"Yummy!"

Oh, yon Fruity Pebble
Glinting as a Flintsone;
Now the box is empty
And I am left to moan.

And yes it is true
I could go to the store;
But they hiss and sneer,
Call me a Pebble Whore.

Without the holy Pebble
I am just a fraud;
For it's known across the Land
To be the food of God.

"Infidels all!"

Yes, I know there's others -
Cocoa, Flake and Crunch;
But only one is true!
None else shall I munch!

Vicious neighbors come
Peeking through my window;
They see I've lost the touch
When I play Nintendo.

"Oh Dear God, Please help me!"
In my pain I cried.
"Without Your holy food
"I'll be crucified!"

"Corn Flakes are evil!"

"I've been your holy slave!"
"Done nothing that I wanted!"
"And the holy Pebble
"I have always vaunted!"

In this my darkest hour
I heard the call of Raisin Bran;
Thinking in my head,
"I must become a man!"

As my hand reached up
To touch the great unknown;
I knew my holy cover
Was surely to be blown.

"Should I??"

I trembled in my fright,
Knowing what they would say;
"He did love the Pebble
"And now he must pay!"

I stared at the Bran
Just sitting in my bowl;
Knowing I must ingest
If I'm to save my soul.

But then I heard a sound,
A crackling from outside;
My beating heart pounded,
Hoping for my pride.

"God love I!"

"Oh, now I know it's true!
"The true God do love I!"
For all around me fell
Pebble from the sky!

A stripped off all my clothes
And stuffed my holy face;
I've got Pebble religion!
I'm free from all disgrace!