Sunday, March 25, 2007

Debby's Song


You, Debby, are true greatness. You know dreams others will only call myth. In some ways, I hold more respect for you than anyone else I've ever met. Yes, I know you don't think I hold you in high regard, but I do. It's your choices I despise, the way you've decided to treat yourself.

When you die, there will be much talk of what a gracious person you were. "Debby was such a good girl!" How you always did what was expected of you. The wife, the mother, the dutiful church-goer, ah yes, that Debby was perfect! It's the thought of disapproval that rules your life. Because you don’t have your own approval. That is your cross to overcome but never will. They will sing your praises but they don't know you like I do.

I know your secret dreams - and your secret lies. Yours will be a life unlived but only you will know it. And over the years as your soul dies and you become all the things you hate but end up defending, you will have no one to turn to. No one you can tell your problems because that would admit you're living a lie. So remember this in your moment of despair, it was your choice. Your mocking words come back to haunt you: "Life is what you make it."

You didn't hurt me with the things you said. Most of that was me manipulating you in my delusional thinking. No, the time you hurt me was long ago when you said, "I do". You just couldn't resist the bribe. And even though it was not what you had dreamed you found a perverse thrill in the acceptance. "Who am I to ask for more? What makes me so deserving of dreams? After all, I'm just a girl." Through your self-martyrdom, your humiliation became institutionalized and therefore made holy. How exciting.

Each dawn of dishonesty brings a new low. "Success" deepens the despair. You finally got things just the way you wanted: to be yourself is a "sin", is to lose everything. So the Holy Lie must be kept - for the kid's sake, for God's sake, for your sake. May no one knock on your door? Is your heart closed forever? Yes, Debby, you do deserve more. Will you accept it? Can I?

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one,
And we've only just begun.
Think I'm gonna have a son.
He will be like she and me, as free as a dove,
Conceived in love.
Sun is gonna shine above.

And even though we ain't got money,
I'm so in love with you, honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning, when I rise,
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Seems as though, a month ago, I was Beta-Chi,
Never got high.
Oh, I was a sorry guy.
And now, I smile and face the girl that shares my name.
Now I'm through with the game.
This boy will never be the same.

(Chorus)

Pisces, Virgo rising is a very good sign,
Strong and kind,
And the little boy is mine.
Now I see a family where the once was none.
Now we've just begun.
Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun.

(Chorus)

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup.
Drink it up.
Love her and she'll bring you luck.
And if you find she helps your mind, better take her home.
Don't you live alone.
Try to earn what lovers own.

And even though we ain't got money,
I'm so in love with you, honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning, when I rise,
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

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