Thursday, February 25, 2016

Three Blind Mice

Hey, look who's in charge! A former Walmart greeter!

Mimicking the latest trend in corporate America, four top FAA decision-makers sat in the secret chamber which allowed them to be free to be themselves, i.e. wearing nothing but diapers. In this special way they decided the fate of the air traffic controllers under their collective thumb.

"It's not enough! There's still too much thinking going on in the ranks. I won't permit it! It's vile and immoral." Then he crapped in his diaper.

"I agree. It's good we make them wear bright orange beanies and attend mandatory meetings where they are required to quack like a duck. That has weeded out some of the offenders but higher sanctions are still needed. If not, I think I'll cry." He placed the pacifier back in his mouth.

"These thinkers are a plague upon the nation. They always think they know best regardless of anyone else's feelings or self-delusion. If we let these monsters stay among us they will ruin everything. Thank you, I'm going to fart now."

"I hate them! Kill them all! They make me feel bad, those meanies! They need us, we don't need them. That's why we're in charge! Make them leave! Make them leave right now!" Then he flung his bowl of porridge in blind fury across the room. It was certainly a messy room.

The next week a new policy was handed down: going forward all new air traffic controllers must be blind. It was up to boss Thumbelina to introduce the newest hire.

"Everyone, this is Blind Betsy. She is the first to be hired under our new policy. How exciting!"

"How is she supposed to do her job if she's blind? Management must be nuts!"

"Please, no negativity, let's have an open mind. They're simply trying something different."

"That's what Hitler said about the Holocaust, as if you can't know if something is good or bad until you try it."

"Exactly! It's good our supreme leaders have the wondrous and magical vision to make us the best we can be. They've been reading articles on the internet!"

"Well, what about our computers that are so old they are dying off? Pretty soon we'll be down to using smoke signals."

"Oh, that's not their fault even if they are the only ones who can authorize replacements. Someone has to be thinking of how we'll be operating eight years in the future!"

Reactions in the room were mixed. Some accepted any conditions given them and if planes crashed then planes crashed, can't be helped (management's favorites). Others had doubts but felt it was not their place to question. And some knew this to be reckless endangerment from self-seeking bureaucrats whose only concern was continuing their places of power; immoral, vile, deluded, petulant dilettantes who believed the self-awareness of their incompetence and the ability to cover it up to be the truest sign of one's intelligence.

Blind Betsy, yet another creature who considered only herself, took her seat with great anticipation. "Oh, this is so wonderful! I've always wanted to be in a position of responsibility. Just imagine all the people's lives depending on little ol' me!"

A much dreaded thinker was sitting beside her. "If you really wanted to be responsible then you'd never have taken this job in the first place."

Thumbelina, whose sense of purpose never came from within, was outraged. "I will not tolerate that kind of language! You need to show courtesy and respect."

"I am showing respect - to my profession. And besides, the truth should never be taken as an insult."

"The truth is what our superiors say it is. From now on I want to hear nothing but positivity!" demanded Thumbelina with all the passionate fervor of a blindly committed cultist.

"How the hell is she supposed to be able to guide the planes when she can't even see??"

"Because we are a TEAM: Together Everyone Achieves More. Whoever sits next to Betsy will need to lean over and describe her screen to her. Be sure to do a good job helping her! Lives are at stake!"

"How am I supposed to watch my screen if I'm watching hers!"

"We'll just have to adapt. I have great faith in you! You are one of our star controllers!"

"Unless something goes wrong from me trying to do two jobs. Then I'll get the blame and this blind idiot will get none because she can't see. It's insanity! The world is turned upside down and no one even notices it."

"Don't be such a worry wart. Everything will be fine! I have faith! It feels good to have faith. You should have it too! Life is wonderful!"

Later in the diaper chamber, much glee was to be found.

"Like, oh my God, she really said that?? That's too funny! 'The truth is what our superiors say it is." I love it!"

"The Bolsheviks were right: thank God for useful idiots. No matter how stupid a policy we come up with there'll always be some idiot there to defend it with a misguided sense of purpose."

"We've already run off some of those badmouthing thinkers. The ones remaining are so tortured by doing two jobs and trying to make things work out of a sense of responsibility they are literally becoming sick with the effort. It's so funny I almost wish they'd stay on so we could torture them forever. But I guess we need to keep a few around anyway so we can fire them when the planes start crashing."

"HAHAHAHA! I love it! We are untouchable priests of the world! Watch them die and suffer for our sins! We are the true masters of reality!"

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