Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Solaris Syndrome

"Before you formed in the womb
"I knew you;
"Before you were born you were set apart
"To find me."

They told me not to come here. They said the sun's reflection off the Solaris ocean would burn out my eyes. They live in fear.

Now I'm here at the space station, I wonder and wander. When I was traveling I knew why I was coming, but having arrived I've lost my cause. My mind is blank. I live in fear.

If I return to Earth will I remember why I needed to come? Or did I never really need to in the first place? Is this the work of an outside entity or is this me? Who can understand?

Seems I came to find freedom in a prison. Men hold hope in leaving their doubts unspoken. Despair is the root of all philosophy. I can move neither forward nor backward; I must make up a dream.

Who can come to me here? Is there life beyond these walls? Do I dare hope the ocean is alive as some believe? Or are they making up a dream too? I both pray and deny life is more than what I see.

Is she who I hope she is? In my darkest hour do I find my greatest light? I feel I'm trying to grab snatches of fog. Looks so real until I try to take hold. Won't it disappear if I let go?

Can I trust her? They say she's made from the mass of Solaris. Is this what happens when you wander too far? I was determined to find...what? Her? But how? But, yes. I came here seeking she who did not exist. Was that not madness?

Madness. Mass. Mayhem. Morose. Mired. Marooned. Mute. Maimed. Misguided. Meditated. Myth. Miracle.

Is wisdom beyond me? She looks for the sun and sees me. Does she not know how I got here, that I came from nowhere? Maybe she's asking herself those same questions.

The other two are angry with me. They say my love is not real, my joy an illusion. For them, sympathy is a sin. Yet I too must know what's real.

I stand alone. The decision is mine. They won't tell me what they feel. Every mind here goes blank. Few speak with a script unwritten. The mirror comes for me.

To know what I want is easy: to be with her. Is knowing that enough? Something is alive that was not before. Only the cynicism of science demands a question of a miracle.

It is right I keep this alive. But does a stupid man deserve a miracle? I am exposed here for all to see. The wickedness I hide on Earth is laid bare if I stay under the Solaris sun.

Reasons for failure are infinite. Only one reason to succeed. Pride births men's shame. So easy to destroy, it's frightening. I feel nothing must happen to the Solaris ocean or we will perish. I can give no scientific proof of this fact.

In the light I see and am seen. Our love is glorious to behold. Questions in the dark are absent in the light. I speak to the other two to save them, to tell them it's alright to stay. Communication is what will save Mankind. How clear and obvious it is: life is life, that's all I need know.

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