So, the shoe is on the other foot.
I must admit with my newfound wealth comes a newfound sense of worth. One is supposed to have a sense of worth outside of money but how can one be both dead and useful? That's the trump card not even God can defeat (in the end - not now!). Suddenly, I understand the assassins sent after me over the years by Debby. When you have something to protect the whole world changes perspective. Your life becomes devoted to protecting your assets, the beginning of worldly corruption.
Easy to see how one turns into Michael Corleone. It's not about "How much is enough?" It's about giving a direction to your life. It's very seductive! making business your personal life. Corporations poison and destroy lives every day and no one bats an eye. We decry individual murder in feigned outrage only to protect our corporate killing, our dog-eat-dog ways for which we have waged wars to retain. I'm on the inside of that now.
Now that I have something to protect, there's all sorts of avenues of control one can enlist into one's portfolio of power. First, there's just the natural ass-kissing that comes from your everyday asshole who knows you have money to the corporate guard dogs that are the police to our vaunted institutions peddling respectability for a price. I is a pillar of the community now, I is!
And once one gets this way, one wishes to remain this way.
I'm protecting my family!
At this point the question becomes: how far are you willing to go? It doesn't take long to get to murder, a much shorter trip than I thought. I used to think, "She can't really want to kill me. That's only plot devices in movies." But now I see it's more a matter of "Why not?" than "Why?". Why not remove any threats to your way of life? It turns your evil into a holy war. Kiss my fatwa, bitch!
Turnabout is fair play. Debby sends assassins after me, I'll send ninjas after her. After all, I don't want her suddenly popping up in my newly respectable life destroying me with the truth. I'd be forever ruined. Take the bitch out! All those years I spent on the run looking over my shoulder, even being left for dead at one point. Time for you to get a taste of your own medicine and get knocked off your high horse my Christian crucifying friend.
I used to wonder how she could rationalize her killing ways. "My marriage is holy so anything I do to protect it is holy too!" I figured she told herself something like that but then I always still thought that's such an obvious lie no one can be that stupid in real life. But she and people like her are - by the tens of millions - every fucking day. I guess it's just an overwhelming thought to think that's who I live with, I just don't want to face it. Yet now that I get to be a predator instead of the prey I see how easy it is to fall into the killing trap.
Is there one homeless person in this country
we consider respectable? Gotta get the money, honey!
we consider respectable? Gotta get the money, honey!
So I get to shatter her world like mine got shattered. Only she can't hide in the streets. Debby is a veal calf in her San Francisco mansion. She couldn't leave there even she if wanted to. Idiot thought becoming a cripple showed her true devotion to her way of life! That's what you do when you get fat, feeling untouchable; queen pig on her throne. Time to gut that pig!
Not that I wouldn't send ninjas anyway with my love of Japan, but San Fran with her Asian connections makes it even more fitting. Plus any excuse to hang around Japantown is fine by me - even though I'll be spending most of my time daydreaming and relishing the hell to come my tormenter's way. I know exactly how it will go!
It starts with that initial connection in your mind of what's occurring as you see the deadly killers approaching, a mixture of dread and confusion. Part of you is actually excited, though, because at last your secrets are known by someone and you feel free. Man, let me tell you, it's a moment you never forget! The sun, the sky, the smells, the noise - it all becomes frozen in time, a simultaneous alpha and omega. You'll be reborn, bitch, right as you watch that shuriken fly towards your forehead.
Is there one CEO in this country who actually is respectable?
Then fear takes over. I will tell my ninjas not to kill her right away. I want the taste of terror and adrenaline and sweat in her mouth first. Good luck entering back into your so-called respectable life after that! She'll never be able to quite convince herself of her lies the way she did before. Trust me, when you realize someone wants you dead, a seed of self-doubt is planted and will continue to grow until you face who you really are. That's the one thing Debby bet her life on never ever happening.
I'm going to enjoy this, taking my time. To see her hallowed phony Christianity funded by ill-gotten gains fade right before her very eyes will be priceless! I want to savor that thought and experience, wallow in it and replay it over and over again like a favorite scene in a movie. She who lives by the dollar dies by the dollar! Hard not to blame her for thinking my janitorial ass would never come into riches but then again every liar is taking a chance.
I love my new role. I love walking around in clothes that were once several months gross wages. Money undeserved is twice as sweet as money earned. I'm finally one of society's sluts - sanctified and blessed! Jesus said to come out of the world and be ye apart. Well, I tried that and it sucks more than words can say. It's an insufferable and unsustainable existence. Time to give the whore of Babylon twice what she handed out, as is mandated in the Good Book.