Sunday, October 15, 2017

What About Ze Jews, Mein Kampf?

"Have I got a healthcare plan for you!"

Minister Josef called in his assistant.

"Heinrich, come look at this!"

Minister Goebbels was holding forth a newspaper article with his outstretched hand. "Did you see this? It's hilarious. This man makes these careful and painstaking points of all the contributions Jews have made to civilization. Must have taken him days!"

"Ah! He takes us seriously. How wonderful!" The assistant looked over the article. "Yes, yes, very factual and reasoned. What a moron! He fell right into your trap, Minister. We control his narrative and he obviously has zero faith in the public discerning the truth for themselves - just like us. Perfect!"

"Thank the Valkyrie gods for fools like this propping up our credibility, that we actually believe the filth we're peddling, making convenient enemies to be targeted. When will they learn? It's not the truth that counts, but the truth that sells that counts?"

"Hopefully never, great Minister."

"Let us use our translator to devise a response. First we start with the truth, of course, because we must first discern the truth in order to distort it."
A responsible and correct newspaper has pointed out the falsity of the campaign against the Jews by showing that, in fact, they are not the monsters we portray them to be but quite the opposite, as vital and precious members of society. The article demonstrates how much poorer our lives would be in their absence. This effort to spread truth reinforces the fabric of society and helps build a solid foundation for our future.
"Now we shall fix it by filling it in with our own crimes! Ha ha! This is fun!"
"The lying media is waging a campaign against the truth! We've uncovered yet another example of their filth peddled by a shameless editor. This sort of divisive propaganda must stop! This story leaves out important facts the newspaper does not want you to know! The ministry values and respects the role of the press but not this kind of perverted journalism that leads to destruction and a dissolution of our ideals! Stand up for your rights! Protect our country and demand an end to deceivers and distorters of truth!"


"May I make a suggestion, great Minister? Should we not change 'this story' to 'this conspiratorial story'? After all, what we're doing is most certainly a conspiracy!"

"Excellent point, Heinrich! You will go far in the Reich with your ability to pervert."

"Thank you, sir! There is a reason we are winning! The public is with us all the way!"

"Indeed - and it shall remain that way. We'll forever proclaim truth to be filth, honesty as treason, and lies our only hope. As they destroy their lives we'll give them convenient scapegoats to blame as no man is a villain in his own eyes."

"I'm drawing up a list of suspects now. Immigrant workers, gypsy outcasts, the lazy poor - all those who can't fight back. It will be hilarious to watch fools attack them!"

"But we know what truly is most important, Heinrich, and that is our own personal well being."

"That's what it's all about, sir!"

"So we must consider if America wins the war."

"No, never!"

"Don't be deceived by our own propaganda! Time is on America's side in the war. But I have a plan! They live by their greed which they've made their holy religion. That will be our key to success! Never will they give up that lie! As their lives turn to shit as happens to every greedy civilization we'll still be on top misdirecting the blame and anger as we see fit. There will always be a place for liars like us!"


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