Sunday, January 28, 2007

Rainy Woods Call Me Home

It's beautiful in the woods and the rain - and the cares of the world are washed away.
And you don’t know what year it is.
When you’ve lost the sounds of civilization you can hear the voice of God.
And I was welcomed.
It’s cold and damp but it’s a home of my own making. If I choose peace, then peace becomes me.
And the wars of others are left to others.
They tell me my jobs are many: to labor, to war, to support the sinners as they whore. But my job is one: to fix myself.
As is everyone’s.
My refuge is only temporary. The sin of the many outweighs the good of the few. But the rules of nature cannot be questioned. Soon, no refuge will be left on this planet.
I don’t know what that means.
The world is out of control. My life is out of control. All I want to do is stay in this little patch of woods forever. All of the universe is here. And its love speaks to me.
Asking me where I’ve been.
Do I not have dreams of love? Do I not trust my Maker? Do you not wish to belong once more?
But I am angry.
The raging beast sits alone in the forest. He’s tired of his diet of shame and venom. He finds peace only in a place where he cannot live.
For the beast is trapped.
He destroys the stairway to heaven and burns the bridges of the world. What is left?
A life on the run.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Lines From a Lying, Looney Liberal

Commie Pinko Traitor!
Some people love America and others are just haters. They want to tear down and destroy everything we have built. These are people with no sense of right or wrong. For them, it's all about destroying what's good. Then I came across this guy and he takes the cake. This flamer wouldn't stand a chance on today's talk radio. They'd set his sorry ass straight! Get a load of what Mr. Negativity has to say:

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.

Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.

Conquest is not in our principles. It is inconsistent with our government.

Experience has shown, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny.

Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.

Force is the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism.

I abhor war and view it as the greatest scourge of mankind.

I have recently been examining all the known superstitions of the world, and do not find in our particular superstition (Christianity) one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.

I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country.

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.

In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty.

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God.

Merchants have no country. The mere spot they stand on does not constitute so strong an attachment as that from which they draw their gains.

Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.

There is not a truth existing which I fear... or would wish unknown to the whole world.

Oh, what did Thomas Jefferson know anyway?

Monday, January 22, 2007

Scenes from the Last Day, Part 1

     Executive Man drolled into his morning office on the 43rd floor with an oh-so-chipper smirk. "Beautiful office! Beautiful building! This world is FANtastic!"
     Virgin and Vixen, his assistants placed neatly in the outer offices, replied as programmed: "Yes, sir! Indeed, sir!"
     "Isn't this one helluva place to be?" marveled Executive Man. "I mean, how many people would kill to live a life like mine. Ha! Ha! I wonder people I did kill to live this life! Such success!"
     "Yes, sir! Indeed, sir!" affirmed voices from the outskirts.
     "You gotta believe me, no one could turn down a job like this. Mammoth money. Prestige that cannot be bought. Sitting atop the world like a god. Who could say no?"
     A little more faintly: "Yes, sir! Indeed, sir!"
     With that, Executive Man shut the door to his office. Every morning was the same: same speech, same affirmation, same sly grin as his soft, white hand clasped the doorknob. Only this time it was followed by a loud bang. Virgin and Vixen rushed in to see the lifeless body and the inevitable smoking gun.
     Vixen looked down her nose. “Surprised he lasted this long.”
     “I’ll call the janitors,” sighed Virgin.

     There were two janitors and both were named Bob. Bob was not happy with the corporate news. “Another fucking dead body. Christ! Why can’t they do this at home? I hate cleaning this shit up. They’re fucking me! They’re fucking me, I tell ya!”
     “We gotta do it, Bob,” insisted Bob. We just gotta! Or they’ll get us!”
     “Least he didn’t splatter himself all over the concrete like that banking fucker.”
     “See, Bob? It’s not so bad. We gotta do it or they’ll get us for sure!”
     “Well, I’m tired of them fucking me! I’m gonna shoot a couple of them big shot bastards myself ‘n’ give them a taste of their own medicine!”
     “OK, I’ll catch up with ya when I’m done. I don’t want to be alone.”
     “Done what?” spied Bob. “You jerking off again??”
     “Yeah, but I gotta. I just gotta. I got no choice!”
     “Well, do it someplace where I don’t step in the shit this time!”
     “I’m using my mop bucket.”
     “Good. Then bring it to the top floor where I’ll be. They ain’t fucking me no more!”

     Virgin looked up from her desk just in time to see the gun toting janitor steaming down the hallway. “Looks like Bob is going to knock off a couple more.”
     Vixen was not be swayed from her punctuality. “Five o’clock! Outta here! Hope one of those perv janitors gets that body buried.”
     “They’re not both perverts, “ defended Virgin. “Only one Bob is a pervert, the other is just a killer.”
     “Whatever. Bob should feel better after he caps their asses. Lazy pricks waited all day to get started. I just don’t know what this world is coming to!”

     Frantically rushing through traffic, Virgin arrived home at the expected time. Her husband and owner would be there already, conducting inspection. She shattered in the face of disapproval.
     “Look at the cans! Look at the cans!” barked husband-fuehrer. “Is this what you call alphabetical order? Do you even know the alphabet?”
     "Yes, sir! Indeed, sir!"
     “I can’t stand chaos! Chaos screws up the world! Do you understand me?”
     "Yes, sir! Indeed, sir!"
     “Then fix it and get the paddle. And hurry! President Daddy is making a speech tonight! Ich bin ein husband!”
     Virgin hastily re-arranged the pantry and retrieved the paddle in a childlike awe. “Reporting for punishment, mein kampf!”
     “Now bend your bitch ass over! I’m really turned on!”
     “Me too, sir!”
     Further chastisement rained down with the swats. “And I hear your daughter is a slut and unhappy in her home. Why is it she jumps on every boner she sees, slut?”
     “I can’t imagine why, sir. She knows all her Bible hymns by heart.”
     “Did you ever actually think to tell her not to be a slut?”
     “Oh, many times, sir! Ouch!”
     “Then we’ve done all we can do. Let's go dutifully watch President Daddy's speech now and remember: no criticism!” Behind der husband-fuehrer whispered the sounds of sobbing. “Hey, who’s that crying? There’s no crying allowed here!”
     “It’s the angel, sir,” informed Virgin. “She’s watching us again.”
     “Well, whose side is that angel on? Why isn’t she looking out for that hussy daughter of yours? Tell that angel to mind her own business or I’ll be fucking her in the ass too!”
     “Oh, my God! You’re such a god!”

     The angel’s eyes drifted to a daughter with strategically torn jeans, revealing a tight and nubile body that all men craved. She also knew the ways of the paddle and wielded it well in the high school office.
     “Bad principal! I saw you checking out my goods. I’d tell you to kiss my ass but I know you want to.”
     “God, yes! God, I want your ass!”
     “I own you, bitch! And I want you to think about my hot little bod the whole time you’re giving your speech on why you like corporal punishment so much. Pervert!”
     “I’m out of control! I ache for those supple, firm breasts and tight, taut legs. Dear Jesus, have mercy. We must have discipline!

Scenes from the Last Day, Part 2

     The audience in the school auditorium was enraptured by the passion of the Principal’s plea. “Children of today ache for our guidance. They are out of control! We must have discipline!” Thunderous applause and standing ovation followed.
     Vixen was in the audience, joining the others in hearty support. Though childless, she attended at the behest of her new boss - who did have a wife and kids. After a round of heavy intercourse in the parking lot, Vixen was worried of her future if the Boss Man’s wife found out. Boss Man replied he’d comfort Vixen with a soothing lie later on.
     Walking back out to the car in the parking lot, they witnessed a Sick Father and Son.
     “Daddy! Daddy! Why do you have to torture me!?”
     “Because I love you, son. And if I don’t make you sick like me, you’re never going to love me back. Now hold still while I do this!” Sick Father pulled out his syringe of venom and injected the child.
     “No, daddy! Stop! You’re killing me!”
     Sick Father noticed Vixen's and Boss Man's fixated eyes. “Shut up you ungrateful brat! You’re making me look bad!”
     Vixen was disgusted as she took her top off in the car. “What an asshole!”

     After their second session, the sex obsessed pair headed to Fancy Hotel for a final interlude of illicitness. Vixen was bubbly in the back of the limousine. “I’m so thrilled you’re fucking me!”
     “I like it too. Reminds me of when I was fucking the maid. God, what a feeling! Things she could do with that duster! She had stars in her eyes the whole time. Never saw it coming when I fired her.”
     “Wow, you’re really incredibly smart, aren’t you.” Boss Man’s head whipped around. “Yes, I am – but you could not possible know that.”
     “This is too exciting to give up, risking my life like this! Don’t worry about making up a lie for me about not losing my job. I’ll just lie to myself about that for you!”
     “Kinky! I like that!”

     As they entered Fancy Hotel, Vixen was discussing the office. “Oh, and you got to watch out for the other Bob too. He’s a little pervert and runs around naked all the time. Last month he actually jacked off in the coffee pot. Virgin was the only one who liked the taste that day.”
     A glorious sign announced a lecture by the world famous Dr. Doctor in the hotel’s lounge. Boss Man was impressed. “Dr. Doctor! He has a 10,000 IQ! Should be several people there to hear this! What does it say its about?”
     “'The end is near. Kill yourself while you still have time',” read Vixen.
     “Brilliant! He’s exactly right! This world is going right to hell!”
     “You’re not kidding when you can’t even trust the office coffee!”

     The night air was crisp and clear. Dreamy clouds floated passed an approving moon. How many songs had that sky heard and how many screams? Where was man when the sky was formed or when the oceans burst from their womb? What knowledge had he when the dawn was put in place and the earth took shape? How was man to make the frost of winter and the warmth of summer? These questions did ponder the homeless Dollar Bill.

     Vixen and her cohort were scurrying back to the respective homes when she spotted Bill. “Isn’t that Dollar Bill, the greatest executive ever?”
     “Yep, it’s him,” sniffed Boss Man. “More like Moron Bill, though. Stupid bastard got a conscience and look at him now. What a loser. He could have had everything!”
     “Wow, never seen anyone dumb enough to listen to their conscience before. Can we go over there and make fun of him, please?”
     “Sure, I’ll wave this dollar in front of him. Remind him of what he could have had!” And they giggled.
     Boss Man pulled his Luxury car to where Bill was dying. “Bill, dude, have a dollar!”
     Bill’s sad eyes looked upon the dollar but could not grasp it. “World is dying. No man is free with a dollar.”
     “Sure it’s dying, Bill. Dying for you that is! Not for us.”
     But Bill was living with a truth he could not hide. “Money won’t save me. Only love can. I’ve got to get my soul back.”
     Boss Man smirked at his vampy Vixen and smirked back at Bill. “Yeah, that’s gonna happen, Bill. Kiss the dollar or kiss your life goodbye. That’s the way it’s always been. That’s the way it’s always going to be. No reason to change now! Adios, sucker!” laughed Boss Man as his car stormed into the night.
     The watching angel descended to stand beside the shaken Bill, who spoke in a wavering voice. “Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am on a fool’s errand. The world was made for people like them. I’ve got nothing left but my soul.”
     Tears streamed down the face of the angel as she smiled. “Time will come when they wished they had your treasure.”

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

A Fallacy of Fairness

Damn, these costumes are hot!
From the four corners of the globe (to some a literal remark!) came the four Great Minds of the times to discuss that which is most important to be determined: Reality itself. The topic of the day would have profound implications upon the entire planet, shaping the course of lives and nay, even history itself. With solemn reverence the men were escorted to their seats showered by fawning flash bulbs. The subject: What Shape the Earth?

In fairness, each speaker was given equal time to present his case. Square Man lectured first. "The earth, as you can see here by my chart, is a perfect square. With equidistant lengths between all points, shipping costs will be greatly reduced as well as a much greater ease of navigation will be introduced. This is a revolutionary concept, completely changing our global paradigm! And as you can see from my second chart, a square earth is in actuality not that far from a circle.”

Next was Trapezoid Man. “I think you will see the trapezoid as the best point of view because it takes some of the best features of the square yet is far more pragmatic. With only one pair of parallel sides, we are thus free to shorten the distances at one end where perhaps the population density is higher and lengthen it at the other where the populace is sparse. This trades some of the square’s ease of navigation for more efficient shipping routes. Sheer genius! Also, a trapezoid in its totality is just as close to a circle as a square.”

The third mind of brilliance stood. “It is the rhombus that is the most accurate assessment of our planet's shape, offering the navigational order of a square but with the adjustability of not requiring 90 degrees in all corners, brilliantly giving a flexibility to allow for geography and commercial centers. I have calculated many esoteric and complex formulas comparing the rhombus I present to you here today with a circle, fabricating us the true ideal shape of our dear terra firma.”

The moderator then motioned for the last speaker to give forth his enlightenment. He shook his head and rose. “You people are fucking morons! The earth is round, you know it’s round, you contrast your points of view with a round circle and yet you pretend it’s not round! You idiots have no concept of reality!”

The refutations were immediate and brimming with conviction. “It’s you who has no concept of reality! You speak only of a self-serving point of view that serves you and not the world! Something that makes you look good and does not serve the greater good of mankind! You are the worst kind of hypocrite, sir, pretending to help but merely proposing “solutions” that bring decimation!”

“But I speak the truth! Does that count for nothing? Or have you completely turned your back on your Maker?”

You can't handle the truth!
“The truth, as you call it, sir, is something to be studied and politely debated. No point of view is more valid than another. And for you to attack us personally by pointing out the fallacy of our positions is unacceptable! It is you who is out of his mind with your ranting and raving. By claiming the truth, you obviously have an irrational desire to place yourself above others thusly making yourself irrelevant. Will the gendarmes kindly remove this man?”

With the agitator gone, the conference resumed with men from only three corners of the globe. The remaining souls secreted themselves to a conference room, wheeling the latest and most accurate globe available along with them. Analysis by the press and general media determined the “Earth is round” proponent to be a fraud due to his uncouth and uncivilized behavior. Much applause and admiration greeted the final decision of the Great Minds – despite rumors of strippers being summoned to their hotel rooms – as the true shape of the earth was finally revealed: it's an octagon.

Monday, January 15, 2007

The Nazgul's Cry

Shadow demons
running in the night;
Spreading their lies
of dreadful fright.

Whispering in ears
of Unholy men;
Saying black is white
and good is sin.

Never seen,
never caught;
Laughing at what
our pride has wrought.

Murder, mayhem
is their joy;
Our selfishness
is their toy.

"Do it! Do it!"
hisses the voice;
"I'm telling you
there is no choice!"

Armies marching,
unison toys:
"We parrot you:
we're choiceless boys!"

Smirking demons
watch warriors blind;
Twist and turn
in tortured bind.

Power's puppets
run fool's errands;
Gloat of pyrite
in life that's barren.

"War today and
war tomorrow;
It's man's lot to
know only sorrow."

"There's a reason
we must grieve:
Unholy lies
we must believe."

Illusion wins,
the sky bleeds grey;
God is coming
to have Her say.

Horton Hears a Clue

It was just a flash...
and it's happened before...
years ago, at a stoplight, I remember this same feeling…
a home outside of my pride...
I really do have something to offer...
but my pride won't let me share it...
I'm committing the same crime I most despised in Debby...
how I yearn to be free…
“Tear down these walls, Mr. Homeless”…
you’re OK after all.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Ode To a Beer Bottle (Tears in the eyes of God)

Dear beer bottle,

You fucked me again! Goddam empty ass! Why didn't you fix my problems? You do for everyone else! Why is my ass different? Shit! Fuck! Shiiiiiit!

I got no refuge. Man, I feel old. It looks so safe inside that bottle. It never is. Baka! Baka! Baka!

Look at that dude over there by the 7-11. Don't come near me, motherfucker! I'm on to your sorry ass. I'll rip your fucking throat out - with extreme prejudice. What are your instincts telling you? Yeah, yeah, your con ain't gonna work with me. That's right, check again to make sure. Head on your merry fucking way now. Thanks for making me walk around in a suit of armor.

So I'm going to dance now, Cinnamon Girl. I'm just a goddam lunatic to you assholes anyway. "Oh, look at the crazy homeless guy dance!" After the lottery it's: "Oh, how wonderfully eccentric!" At the cool people's party: "Oh my God, what a dork!"

"Hey, honey, where you going in them low cut jeans? Can I put my dick in there? It don't even gotta go in ya, just on ya would do! I used to have a car, too. Where you going? Once you go homeless you never go back! Gimme your address! Least let me jack off on your front porch!"

Why do these stupid goddam top 40 bubble gum chewing solid gold 70s DJs talk over the fucking music?? No one wants to hear what you got to say, bitch!! Ruin the goddam song why don't ya? Jesus fucking Christ! Music is the only home I got...

I can't stand it when I see people commit my own sins. I know the consequences. Rain is dripping from the roof here. Another Friday night wasted scribbling in my pad. I've put tears in the eyes of God. Maybe that's where that rain's coming from. I feel small enough to climb back in the bottle now...

Trampling Texas Corporation (TTC)

I'm not a "cause" person. I'm not out to save the world. The world can save itself. What's stopping it?? I'm telling ya, a million bucks and a Maserati and I will gladly leave yourselves. But that doesn't mean I want to see the world die.

I've seen the
"Enron: Smartest guys in the room" movie. The 80's has been labeled the Greed Decade. Then we stopped talking about greed. Not because it went away but because it went underground, finally rearing its ugly head in Enron. (If you see the "Iraq for sale" film you'll see it's becoming fully institutionalized.) After seeing the massive, irrevocable human toll taken by Enron, you end up saying to yourself, "How can this have been prevented?"

Now such an opportunity has presented itself here in Tejas, home of the tragic Enron. It's called Trans-Texas Corridor, the engineering of the rape of a state. Part of me says, go ahead, rape away. We put these crooks in power, we were expecting what? Justice? Honesty? Integrity? Go ahead and fuck the morons.

But sometimes I just wanna fuck 'em back (OK, I always want to fuck them back).

Mark Cuban is a Texan and was behind the making of the Enron movie. He's also a schmuck. But he's got the name recognition and bucks to prevent the implementation of this travesty. Yes, it will cause him pain because it will cause him to pull away from worshipping his own personal private god. But resetting a broken arm also causes pain. And while I'm certainly no believer in being political I felt compelled to send this note:

Give a shit about something real

You gonna spend the rest of your life screaming about basketball and gloating about humiliating people on some perverted TV show? (I heard you smirking about it on the Ticket). Christ, what a waste. Jed fucking Clampett of the internet. Here's something you can make a difference on:

Your name alone would make a difference. Billboards with the truth would be even better. I'm not blind to your corruption either and maybe you are too far gone. So be it. But this is a chance to claim something for your soul. Opportunities like this are rare and golden. It's like preventing Enron before it ever started. Take a chance on stepping into the light.

Chances are it will never see the light of day. But if it does, Marky boy will be branded for life, his decision on this revealing a little something to himself. That's good enough for me.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Malice in Wonderland

"Curiouser and curiouser!” Cried Alice

A thought that often crosses my own mind is: "How did I end up here? How did things get so fucked up? It's all so insane!" Then I look on TV and see a President hoping to explain those very same questions. Amazing! He will explain the importance of finding a way to fit a square peg in a round hole. We are to respectfully listen and dutifully mull words of lunacy. As one senator said, it's all Alice in Wonderland.

"Oh, dear! What nonsense I’m talking!"

"We cannot be defeaters in fitting the square peg in the round hole. The only way to lose is to quit! But imaginate if we win! No more reality ever! Whatever we wish to be true, will be true! The good life forever! But if we fail...horror of horrors. Good peoples, I have bet all the possessions of the land upon our endeavorings. If we lose, we lose everything. Thank you for allowing me to have done this."

"Give your evidence," said the King; "and don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed on the spot."

I heard there were those
Who don't like us;
Their most fervent wish
Is to strike us!

So instead of calling
Them brother;
We showed them by shooting
Their mother!

With all enemies dead
We will win;
With no one left to say
It's a sin!

I read it, wrote it
And now I sing:
When you see a war,
It's a good thing!

"How dreadfully savage!" exclaimed Alice.

No more shall I speak of this war. The tides of destiny are set. We wistfully speak of our selfish wants and desires in the world as a tsunami of sorrows heads for our shores. Our "long, national nightmare" continues as we indulge in a self-absorbed mad tea-party politely speaking of how we can put Humpty Dumpty back together again. This wrongful pursuit pulls us from our lives and thus from what's truly important: fixing ourselves.

See you back up the rabbit hole.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

What Is Folly?

"how can i go forward when i
don't know
which way i'm facing?
how can i go forward when i
don't know which way to turn?
how can i go forward into
something i'm not sure of?
oh no, oh no."

- John Lennon

I know what I feel. I know what I think. Life has been over for me for a long, long time. And the longer you stick around after your life is over, the more absurd it becomes. Since no one knows me or who I am (excepting possibly Debby), then I'm just another lost face in the crowd. If Steven Spielberg were a janitor, only he would know his crime of having deprived the world of his true gifts. He couldn't confess it if he wanted to, passed over as just another dilettante.

This is why I always try to scratch the surface of my fellow day laborers. On occasion you find some truly interesting people. Some are just "passing through" as homeless and you see they are on their way back into a life. Rarely do you find another lifer like me that's still functional. There are those who can only survive by breathing the free air. I too need the free air but I don't know if I'd still be here if I were not also the emotional cripple I am.

In the position where I am now, is it mere folly to hope for anything? You have to be realistic and realize the damage done. You can't be expecting to run when both legs are broken. Some call it "bad attitude" when I say I can't run but it's merely a statement of fact. Maybe they're thinking I'm saying I can never run. Maybe they're right.

I can honestly see no point to my life if I can't share my feelings. I do believe all things are possible with love, but is it possible for me to love? In no form or fashion do I deserve Debby but only with her do things make sense. Yet if I were to come up to her now, she would rip my throat out - with extreme prejudice. I've turned my soul mate into my most dangerous enemy. I think that says a lot about the twisted path I have taken.

So I ask myself, why write? Why get up, why endure the daily tears? I feel that just by blogging I am somehow implying I think I have a future. I feel no such thing. In my position - in my condition - what is asking too much? I'm at the bottom of a well and my legs have broken. Here in the dark I document my humiliating death. How do I tell true hope from what's just in my head? How do I know if I'm just wasting time...

"how can i have feeling when i
don't know
if it's a feeling?
how can i feel something if i
just don't know how to feel?
how can i have feelings when
my feelings have always
been denied?
oh no, oh no."

Monday, January 08, 2007

Nobunaga's Lament

"I am Oda Nobunaga. Who the hell are you?
"Where were you ever king of a country?
"When did you advance the age of your times?
"A ruler by virtue, a ruler by skill.
"No force from without could defeat me.
"So I was defeated from within.
"The tortured power of living by the sword.
"Had I surrendered, I would have won."

-Haiku Monk
In a previous posting, I recounted my sojourn to Japan to retrace the steps of Oda Nobunaga and the remnants of my beloved Azuchi castle. But now from across the ages, Nobunaga speaks for himself.


"Bakana! I was the most powerful man alive, the leader of a new age. The air was alive with electricity, all my decisions destined to succeed. All eyes looked to me to lead the way. They knew as I did I was the most capable man in the land! There were those I respected, even a few I trusted, but my understanding of what needed to be done surpassed all others. A divine wind guided my hand. But I put faith in my vanity and not the wind and so the wind cut me down like a reed. Yet when I let down my self, I let down my people."

A home for my pride;
Your darkened hearts followed me;
Nobunaga's fire.

"Of the Three Great Unifiers of Japan, I was the first, followed by Toyotomi Hideyoshi and Tokugawa Ieyasu. Hideyoshi was greatness! A true joy to be around. It has been said of me I was hot when you expected me to be cold and cold when you expected me hot. Hideyoshi transcended my moods, always brightening my day. He too understood the times. But he was a builder not a ruler, with no direction left once the country stood united.

"Ieyasu never fooled me. He was always a calculating sort, searching for any chink in your armor. Loved him as an ally, though. No fool, he. I'm sure he thought me rash and perhaps was even a bit mystified by me. I knew if he ever seized power, it would never slip from his hands. But never could he have started the great drive for unification as I had. He would have waited until the odds were better - and that day would never come."

Warlord's sword drips blood;
His private hell made public;
NO one says a word.

"I lost my head. I was too mercurial to approach about my behavior and I doubt I would have listened anyway. The power was choking me. No one understood. If only I had let go. My successors lead my people and our glorious land back into fuedalism, understanding none of my reforms. In desperation to hold power, Hideyoshi and Tokugawa shackled the people. Bakas! It was the freedom to create that started the new thinking for unification. In the end, they only stifled it, taking us down the road to atomic abomination upon our most precious land.

"I failed you Land of the Rising Sun, and can no longer look my countrymen in the eye. Perhaps no matter how great the deeds a man does, his first responsiblity is always to love."

Friday, January 05, 2007

Daily To Do List

Daily To Do List:

  • Wake up. Realize nightmare's not over. Fuck!

  • Sulk

  • Give world the finger

  • Get horny and die a little more

  • Meaningless slave labor

  • Babysit my fellow morons

  • Fantasize about my death

  • Secretly dream of Debby

  • Panic as waves of horror return to roost

  • Sulk more and pray for death (mine and the world's)
Above is a picture of Prince William's girlfriend. She resembles Debby somewhat so naturally it triggered a lot of memories - and feelings. I'm still madly in love with her. How can I not get excited when I see the other part of myself? Goddam I miss her! It's just a natural feeling to want to be whole. But the stench of death is stronger than ever in my nostrils...

You Can Be...

You can be:

rich man...........poor man

good man...........bad man









in a crowd..............alone






None of it matters if no one loves you.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Minimum Rage

I know what it's like to hock the gold chain your grandmother gave you so you can eat. (I got it back and I'll die before I hock it again). I know what's like to choose between funding an insurance company or making a car payment. And most importantly, I know what a scam this whole world is. I do not pray at the alter of any "ism".

The whole Minimum Rape wage gets my blood boiling. I saw Fucker Carlson on TV asking why not let the free market decide? The free market had 12 year olds working in coal mines and no safety laws. Others are just flat our greedy like this guy I debated on Flavia's blog (the other jack ass's comments are in red italics):

The folks that will take $7.15 an hour won't include those who get fired because their labor is not worth that to the employer. No reputable economist supports the minimum wage increase. - Jack Davis

This is not a joke. Or a game. Or a time for airhead comments about "reputable economists" from those who pretend to be for workers. Money flows up, not down. People’s lives are at stake. In a practical sense, this feeds the economy. Businesses don’t carry excess labor.

In a moral sense, suppression of wages is nothing more than a RAPE of men, women and children across this country. Predators.

Mundo nulla fides! Money is a tool and a weapon. It us an unnecessary artifice we have deemed necessary. We speak of it as we should of love. We use it as a substitute for having faith in our Maker. As this world dies, you’ll see no sympathy from me. Burn, baby, burn.

[Responding to another commenter] Marc,
You said: "Anyone who decides to downsize or close up shop over a rise in the minimum wage did not have a viable business to begin with" That's just nonsense. Some small businesses cannot afford min wage hikes and close down. I've worked in many. You cannot repeal the laws of economics with wishful thinking. For some reason many liberals have their version of "Inteligent Design " in minimum wage; namely pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo. - Jack Davis

Blogging, arguing, commenting – it’s all meaningless in the eyes of God. It’s so hilarious how we perpetually believe that somehow God is dependent on us to know the truth. But, if you’re going to be a moron, at least be a competent moron.

Jack, dude, what an unskilled liar you are. The first comment with “reputable economists” was bad enough. You need to pretend somewhat to believe what you say! Try providing at least one quote from one of these famed economists. Make it look like you did some research and that you’re not just making the self-serving comment that you are.

The hole only gets deeper with your second remark. What a painfully obvious fabricated statement! Now, there may be a germ of truth that many businesses have shut down once you’ve worked for them. Incompetence does that. But do you think anyone’s really buying this? Then, like all liars, you embed your own confession: “You cannot repeal the laws of economics with wishful thinking.” Don’t include axioms that can be used against your own argument! The last line of your comment is such gibberish I can only conclude the drug of your choice was kicking in.

I know you think you were being smart using the tactic of “never give them anything specific to attack.” But, um, you weren’t (being smart, that is).


As long as we're stupid enough to let money rule our lives, we've got to minimize the damage it does until we wake up. Money is not important, we've just agreed to pretend it is.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Homeless Man Dies. Cop Looks for Donut Shop

DALLAS (AP) The body of a dead homeless man was brought in last night. The coroner's office was aghast. "Amazing! It's looks as if he strangled himself! He must have really wanted to die."

Police, however, seemed only annoyed when asked if there would be an investigation. "Who gives a fuck? No one wanted him to live anyway. Christ, I need a donut!"

So this reporter took it upon himself to find a deeper answer. I found a few souls who'd been in contact with him. These were the thoughts on the final days of a nobody named Albert Einstein:

"Doesn't surprise me at all. He'd been deeply unhappy for a looong time. He was smart about science and stuff but couldn't get laid for the life of him."

"No one really knew him. Something was eating at him. No one knew exactly what - even when he told us."

"He always said God wanted him dead. His soul was poisoned."

"He wanted to go. Each day was a monumental effort of will. I'm amazed he lasted this long."

"What the hell, what homeless being has a future anyway?"

Meet the New Butcher, Worse Than the Old Butcher

Several months ago we literally pulled a man in his underwear out of a hole in the ground in Iraq. A few days ago we hung him by the neck. Lord knows I never thought it possible to make a sympathetic figure of Saddam Hussein. It seems the only person really rejoicing about this is our President, bouncing around the White House like a monkey on steroids. Meet the new Butcher of Baghdad.

We killed the "bad guy" but how do you shoot the mentality that put him in power? Now we've opened the Pandora's box of a mad scramble for power. Civilians and Americans are caught in the crossfire. The breakdown has enabled criminals and opportunists for terror to run rampant. Remarkably, there are still those among us who think we know what's best for others. Beware the man who wants to run your life, he seeks only to ruin it.

Don't get me wrong, Saddam was a monster. He recruited fellow monsters to terrorize and exploit the country. But stopping him is not the same as solving the problem. Like the ancient Israelites, the Iraqis chose to have a king to rule them. No one gets to be stupid for free. ("When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the Lord will not answer you in that day." -Samuel 8:18)

So we decided to play God. God turned his back on you, Iraq, but we love you. We are going to save you and you will give us all your oil in return. And then you will thank us! Instead, our President and all his followers have merely transferred the blood from the hands of Saddam to their own hands. Luckily, we know he's going to come clean of this crime and start the healing process.