A private dream

I'm still in love...through space and time she is still there...it is not discussed and if pressed I would deny it...no one's business but mine...but there's still a child in me and a special place to go...a place that is the life God intended for me...I am one for whom a job is death, but had I not run from my feelings, would there have been another way?...part of me suspects yes...it's an amazing thought, that...that I would have my life and my wife, my book and my film...all that's like a place in the clouds to me...I can see it but I can't reach it...so privately, I dream...